Saturday, July 27, 2013

11:48pm & 11:58pm

Panicking in the water. Feeling all the slights and pains and fights and passive aggression and open invitations to battle of my house. Songs are triggering. Dinner triggered. No, I should not have more cavatelli. It's almost midnight, goddammit.

MONTEZUMA//Fleet Foxes

Mom and Dad fighting on the eve of Mom's birthday. Poor Mom. But also, I hate this. I hate seeing my parents being so goddam stubborn and angry and at loggerheads. I feel guilty not being there. I feel guilty. I feel worthless. I feel like a Hefty hoping for just one rotten egg or bag of old lettuce to be tossed. Melodrama, I know.

I should just pee and be done with it.

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