En Reve:

I remember something about Chelmno: 

Concentration Camp 
To see or live in a concentration camp in your dream indicates that you are afraid of differences. You are having difficulties accepting others and their differences. Learn to appreciate diversity and the uniqueness in yourself and in others around you. If you actually lived in a concentration camp, then the dream may signify a situation in your waking life which is triggering similar feelings felt at the time.

I was jogging/on a run. I remember smiling and happiness:

Jogging 

To dream that you are jogging suggests that you are proceeding through life at a steady pace. You are not really taking any action toward changes. 

To dream that you are running alone refers to your determination and motivation in the pursuit of your goals. You will find success and rise above those around you. Alternatively, the dream may mean that you need to hurry up in making a decision.

 

movies to see 12/17/2013 12:44p

films à voir:

Out of the Furnace

• SMG
• Yorktown
• Addison
• Cantera
• Seven Bridges

Nebraska
Dallas Buyers Club
Wolf of Wall Street
American Hustle
Her (?)
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (?)
August: Osage County
Labor Day
The Lego Movie

3:17p

As a sexual pioneer, it is your manifest destiny to explore the outer limits of your sensuality.

Hmm. Tug the pubes a bit, fist his perineum, perpetually penetrate, treat it like a doorknob.

Just remember: you set the depth. You set the pace. You set your comfort. You’re in control.

-courtesy to http://girlslovesextoo.tumblr.com/post/17103038260/how-to-give-a-great-handjob

5:56p

XMA$$$ Attempt

If I were any kind
of normalcy, I'd be the spree,
of weeks deluged with discounted,
coupon menagerie. Join the club--
Exclusivity, just name your home;
VIP for you and all the Me's.

Nativity is a wanton mess-megapixel,
shellac dress.

11:42am

Well I got more angry than I needed to be at Dad last night. I don't even believe the validity of what I said. I think I put my car in Park, not Neutral, at which point he was right in saying, 'you'll blow out your transmission'. I remembered it falsely, that I did in fact put it in Neutral. I used the opportunity to bark at him for telling me what to do and being wrong, which is something that has occurred. Just not in that situation. When we argued (last night) (so dumb), I got loud because I hate him (or anybody) talking over me. DO NOT. Then, I justified myself by feeling, 'yet again, I'm not allowed to be mad. I either get yelled at or shut out.' This is true, but kind of lazy on my part.

I am not quite sure how to proceed. Don't want to apologize because then I have to address the issue and backtrack and gee whiz, no thanks. But, if I don't, I'm an even bigger jerk. I mean, I'm supposed to get used to making mistakes, but not apologizing for them? I suppose much like my temper, this is a muscle I must learn to control.

Things I should have done yesterday: laundry, cleaning (vacuuming/dusting/putting away), apps finished. Yoga.

Had a very productive chat with Iris on Friday night. We got our communication issues out there. When she's short with [me], '[her] mind is focused on something else, it's not out of anger or disdain.' Okay. She was clear, open and non-hostile.
Sticking points: 1) her assertion that I always wanted to be right. I recall wanting to show her I was right because I felt I was. Not quite the same thing but also not worth arguing over now. It's the past, and it needs to stay there. 2) Her consistent negation of nearly every insight I had throughout the conversation. My perception: she's the cool, calm therapist and I'm raging bull. Same as in childhood. That she's got the right idea and the better smarts and I'm some blowsy tool trying to use a conversational shrimp fork.

I was tearing up talking to her. I went to bed mad and unable to discern why.

Feeling inundated and lazy. Not this week, fella. I can and will do this. This being: laundry, vacuuming, eye appt, plans with Busy, sweater party, better gift for Jahn & Hawk, finish apps, work more on Martin story.