Thursday, May 16, 2013

4:20pm

SWEET GOD ALMIGHTY. I'm a confused, twisted, whirly fool.

I have a bad feeling about this night out tomorrow. Dreading. If I still feel this way tomorrow I'll just say I'm not up to it. Oh well. Nothing to be afraid of.

Why do I listen to Mom when it has to do with expressing myself? She helped along my anger issues precisely because she constantly advised me to keep shit under my hat when I was irritated with someone.
If you say that, expect her to end the friendship. She might see it as petty bull shit and cut the cord... 
Because she has psychic/intuitive tendencies I stick with her. Geez. I just need to start expressing myself and be okay if people can't take it. They usually aren't anyway and if they can't, then I can't.

I feel like such a doormat when I do go with the flow/don't let out the anger/concerns. I'm glad I said I'd be disappointed if Busy's B showed up, but she kinda brushed it off... I will handle it.

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